As soon as we got to the emergency room, I began to play the Quran in your ear on my phone and made sure that your head was covered because I knew the first thing you would want was for me to protect your Imaan. It was a blessing and a curse understanding what was going on with you from a physiological standpoint. On one end, I was able to explain to mom and dad what was going on and give them as much peace of mind as possible, given the circumstance. On the other, I had a very good idea of what the outcome of your condition was going to result in, and it was eating me up inside. Every nurse and physician treated you with the utmost amount of respect and integrity, and grieved with us knowing of your passing after hearing from us what type of person you truly are.
What I will remember most is how you taught me what it truly meant to be a man. You created an environment of positivity and trust within our home and delivered your message by never raising your tone of voice. When I was younger and we shared a room, I would get scared at night and jump into your bed. You never would complain about it being too cramped in that twin-sized mattress. I felt safe around you and knew that you would never leave my side, all 4 foot 9 inches of you. You revealed our Faith to me and taught me how to pray. You stressed the importance of respecting others in the same regard as though they are family. Most importantly, you taught me to always keep my head held up high and to never look down. Regardless of what stage of life I'm in, I will forever be indebted to you for making me feel confident in myself. Something I lacked for many years in my life.
Your eloquent smile and gentle eyes will never escape my heart because those are the characteristics that embodied you as a person. I pray that glowing light that you shined with your smile never extinguishes and is shining bright in Heaven with my grandpa, your sisters, and your 8 other children. I know when I go home, I will no longer have my best friend next door to my room, no longer have to share a restroom with anyone, or no longer have to worry about my nightlight being too bright on my desk that's in your room. Ironically, these are the things that I will miss most.
I promise to continue to be the man that you raised me to be. I promise to never let Eshaal have a sad day because seeing her smile was your purpose in life. I promise to honor you through my service work for humanity with Zam Zam and let others know how much support and motivation you provide me in order to do God's work. I promise to do my best to never refer to you in the past tense because you are forever smiling in my heart. Lastly, I promise to be best father to the children that you did not have the chance to meet and remind them daily that your light is so everlasting, that it even shines in them.
From your undoubtedly humbled and grateful Grandson,
Yusuf Ahmad Nessary